An update and Encouragement

Its been a while since Ive posted anything so I thought I would update you guys. I moved out of my parents house and into a house with 5 other sisters and I graduated high school. I now am in college and in a completely new ministry. These past few months have been some of the hardest and most stressful of my life, but they also have grown me the most. The Lord is teaching me SO much while I live here with all of these girls. Its been so great to learn how to love them each individually. In the midst of all of the change, He has given me peace and is challenging me to Trust him more and more every day. This has been on heart and mind lately so i thought I would encourage you all with it.

"Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. Do not quench the Spirit. Do not treat prophesies with contempt but test them all; hold on to what is good, reject every kind of evil. May God himself, the God of Peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul, and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. The one who calls you is faithful, and he will do it." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-24

Here are photos from a month or to ago when we decided one night to drive to Chicago and spend the next whole day there exploring just because we can! It was one of the most freeing feelings ever and I loved spending it with my roommates!

Great is His faithfulness

Today I went to Eden Park with an awesome sister (Christina). I've never had so much fun in my entire life. We painted and worshiped for a few hours in the sunshine. God is so faithful. The more we abide, the more He provides. I played my guitar in front of people for the first time today and I didn't think anything about it. Totally the Holy Spirit. I felt a deep inner peace. We just goofed off serenading to random people and about objects around us. Last night I was extremely distraught because I didn't feel joyful, I felt like it was impossible to feel true joy (which I knew wasn't and could only come from the Lord). Man, did he provide today. The Lord is good people. The more that we do of what He asks of us, the more He blesses us. For a while I felt burdened by playing my guitar and singing in front of people. I was being crippled by the fear Satan was trying to destroy me with. But once I trusted the Lord and let go, I feel joyful and I want to worship Him and glorify Him all the more. I challenge you, do what He asks of you and you will be blessed. Ask and you shall receive. Knock and the door will be opened. If you don't know what He is asking you to do, ask Him. We have an awesome Father.

I've learned to just sit back and watch Him work and answer my prayers. Its amazing. It reminds me that there's no limit to what He can do. There is no end to His great love for us.
Psalm 51:12

Spirit fall like rain

For the past few days I have been praying for the Lord to send rain. All it had done was snow all weekend, but this morning I was awaken by a thunderstorm and a ton of rain.
Our God is faithful, He hears our cries and He answers.

The Holy Spirit comes like the rain.
"May He be like rain falling on a mown field, like showers watering the earth." Psalm 72:6

Holy Spirit, be a mighty downpour. Come into our hearts and restore us with peace and gentleness.
Just as the plants soak in the rain for nutrients, open my heart that I may do the same. Give me a yearning for you and a heart that listens for you.

Bind my wandering heart to thee. I'm so quick to get anxious and restless. I'm pulled away from my own desire to control things and make things happen as quick as I can. You know where I will be in August, so why am I so easily impatient and anxious?
Jeremiah 29:11

P.S. As an update from my last post, I'm already learning three new songs on guitar. God is good.

Worship, Oh how my soul longs for thee

So I'll start off by saying worship is my favorite thing ever to do. It's the number one way that I am able to connect with the Lord. Whether I've heard the song a million times or its the first time, it hits me hard every time.

I've always loved to sing, this just comes easy to me. What doesn't is playing the guitar that I've had for four years. Every time that I pick it up and attempt to play it, the enemy steals the desire from me. He fills my head with lies saying that I'll never be good enough and that I should stop playing because people will judge me by my lack of skill. I attempted many times to push through it when my family wasn't home and no one else could hear how bad I was. I let Satan cripple me in fear once again. I let Him rob me of my joy to play music and the ability to bring Glory to God through it.

This past week I felt like the Lord was saying "Daughter, my dear, play for me, I will show you how to play just trust me. If you play for me and do it to Glorify me, you'll never be put to shame."
So I picked up my guitar and I said "Lord, I'm gona play this for you, only you can teach me because obviously this isn't something you just pick up and know. Teach me to play, I'm not going to believe these lies that are crippling me anymore."

Last night I was going through some blogs and I found a friend of mines and strangely enough (not strange because Gods intentional)  I found a posting from Tuesday, January 5th, 2010. Mind you this was at 1:30 am.. but anyway. This posting was like I had been writing my own thoughts and feelings down about my struggle to overcome the fear of failure in playing guitar. She had struggled with the same thing and I had absolutely no idea. One of the last times I saw her I was at worship night where she was playing the keyboard! It was encouraging to read and know that I'm not alone in this situation and that with God I can overcome the fear and soar with it. (I guess I should let her know incase she reads this first haha.. oh well)

I feel like the Lord is saying "You of little faith, why don't you trust me?" The possibilities of the Lord are endless. Every time I ask, He gives. He is a faithful and loving God and I know that He WILL give me the ability to play and to praise Him with this very guitar.

Praise Him for being so FAITHFUL and so GENTLE. I give him an inch and he gives me a mile. His love never stops, never quits, there is NO boundaries. He will instruct me and teach me, all I have to do is trust and have confidence in Him.

Pslam 108:1 says " My heart, O God, is steadfast; I will sing and make music with all my soul."

Philippians 2:1-4

This past sunday we were challenged to memorize more scripture, which normally I would just allow myself to get overwhelmed and not actually do it. But once I read the verses (Philippians 2:1-4) I knew the Lord wanted me to know this not only in my thoughts but in my heart.

"Therefore if you have any encouragement from being  united with Christ, if any comfort from His love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one minded. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others."

Visiting The Windy City

Me and my mom are staying in Chicago for two days for a college visit I have at Moody Bible Institute downtown. I've only been here for a day and I've already fallen in love! Its almost in the single digits and we about froze into popsicles today but it was worth it! I had my first deep dish stuffed pizza and I also rode my first city bus today which was intimidating but exciting! I'm extremely excited for my visit tomorrow but a little nervous because I will be alone but it will be a good maturing experience, especially if I'm going to be living here!

 This is from the drive up! We listened to the Lilo & Stitch soundtrack the whole way there, it was a blast.

 This is the room and the full length wall view of the city we have!

 We had to take a picture on the glass cube on the top of Willis Tower (Sears tower)!

This is also the city view at night from our room. Its breathtaking.

Needless to say I have fallen in love with this city and I am excited about possibly going to school right in downtown!

 

Supporting the Pink Ribbon

Well guys heres an update! My mom is doing great! She finished all of her chemo treatments and is doing well. All she has left is another surgery for reconstruction and all will over with! She also did use the cold caps and still has most of her hair so we highly recommend using those too. Thank you for all of your prayers and support!

Supporting The Pink Ribbon

Well mom had her first chemo treatment on thursday. Im going to be honest that day was very hard for me. I was a nervous wreck and couldnt even manage to do my school work. As hard as it was God definitely showed himself to me multiple times. All day I had scripture rollimg through my head and in the midst of chaos and hardship he still is strong. He is out refuge and our strength.

She is doing well. Shes been able to eat and drink pretty much like normal and rest a lot. But also she has been able to be up and moving around a little, she cant drive but she did take our dog Brody for a walk yesterday. She is feeling very tired and weak and her bones were achey today, its more of flu like symptoms, and even though we didnt make it to crossroads this morning luckily they rock and we were able to watch it online!

We know and trust that God has a plan for us and that this is happening for a reason. She is quite the trooper! Please continue to pray for her and our family, thank you for all your support!

Supporting the Pink Ribbon

Well we went to OSU breast cancer center earlier this week so my mom could see the best doctor around for chemo. Although the results were still the same, we still had fun on our mini vacay!

Me and my twin brother had some great "bonding" time on the way to columbus..this is the only one he could be a little closer to serious in. We went shopping at Easton town center as you can see. I couldn't resist talking a picture in the phone Booth! We also ate dinner at The OSU Buckeye Grill!

She still will have chemo and will have 4 treatments, one every three weeks but she can have it here in the Nky.

Psalm 31:24
"Be strong and take heart,
all you who hope in the Lord."

Psalm 33:20
"We wait in hope for the Lord;
he is our help and our shield."

Supporting the Pink Ribbon

Me and my mom had lunch a couple of days ago and she is recovering very well from the surgery. As you can see shes still her goofy self with me. This is just a quick update on my mom. She had the surgery and is about 3/4 of the way recovered, but she will still have the reconstructive surgery also. As of right now she will start chemo in August. I will blog again on Monday and Tuesday because we have to stay in Columbus so she can see her chemo doctor I believe at OSU. But we are going to make it a fun trip filled with shopping, exploring, and anything she wants to do!

Supporting the Pink ribbon

On May 10th (the day before mine and my twin brother Logans birthday) my mom sat us down and informed us that she was diagnosed with breast cancer. Luckily they caught it in the early stages by an mri otherwise we still would be clueless. Its been almost two months and she has had multiple tests done weekly. Yesterday at 5:30 am she headed to the hospital to have a major surgery done, she had to have both of her breasts removed and a full historectomy. The surgery actually was broken down into three and lasted a little over six hours. She had the surgery and is now recovering in a room at the hospital. Friends and family keep her busy all day long with their visits. Shes doing well but it will take a while to recover. She also is having breast implants put in once she heals from this. In four weeks we will find out when and how much chemo she will have to have. Shes quite the trooper.

When I first found out i wasnt too worried because she told me everything would be fine and it would be a piece of cake. But obviously this is more serious of a situation than that. They have her on a lot of medication so she doesnt remember a lot but she can talk and walk (with help) to the bathroom so far so thats a great improvement!

The biggest thing ive learned through this so far is that God IS in control and that all I have to do is put my trust and hope in him and he will take care of it all. Better than i ever could thats for sure. Yes this is harder than i thought because my dad is pretty absent in this situation, right now he is very sick and isnt allowed to be at the hospital (Nothing serious but a virus and sinus infection) so I have been spending these past few days at the hospital alone with her and a few family members.

Prayer is the only thing we can really do. She has a heart conditon along with this so they are worried about that with all of this and chemo. Its hard at night without her at home, but I know God is taking care of her and comforting her through this.  Please pray for her and for a full recovery and for comfort for my family.

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discourageous, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9

James 1:2-4 also says whenever we face trials of any kind to consider it nothing but joy because it produces endurance. 

God is good and she is in his hands. He WILL heal her. Pray knowing it will be answered. 

Breaking down towards Redemption

Tonight I broke down. Lately I've been trying to juggle school, my family and everything else going on in my life. I just couldnt take it anymore. Ive been a Christian for almost two years now and I love Jesus with all my heart, but we all are sinners. We all are undeserving of his great love. Praise God that he sent his ONLY son for US. Tonight I gave it all back to God. I was trying to control everything in my life. But man.. God is SO good! Sometimes I doubt him and forget how powerful and how sovereign he really is.

We only have two weeks left of school, but as most of you know those are the worst two of the year. We have so many exams and assignments its very easy to get overwhelmed and want to give up. But I do know that because God is all knowing and intentional with everything he does that I am at Ryle for a reason. I'm thankful to be so fortunate and to be able to go to school and get an education. That's another thing that is too too easy to forget. Us Americans have it so easy and handed to us most of the time that we forget about all the children who will never have the chance to get an education. I pray that God will remind us of how fortunate we are and how much God has truely blessed us.

Don't forget why you're here and who you belong to. Psalm 3:3&4

My We bought a zoo experience

Tonight my mother,my brother,my brothers friend, my brothers girlfriend, and I went to see the new movie "we bought a zoo". I was expecting to love it because I have such a love for animals and I was very excited. Little did I know it would change my thoughts completely and add a whole new perspective on my life. In the movie there is a son and his father. I realized that I am a lot like that boy, he draws his feelings. He has been through a lot in his life and he uses his passion for art as a light to his life and a way to get those horrible feelings and memories out. His dad doesn't understand him at all and is a lot like my dad. They don't get along because they are so alike. I have a terrible relationship with my father but while I watched this movie I realized how much I care about him even if we live very separate lives. No one in my family gets a long with my dad and he is very hard to live with and be around. This is why I can understand or at least try to comprehend why my parents are going to live separate lives. One of the things I realized is a lot of people go in and out of your life. You have to cherish the moments you have with the people you care about the most because the next time you blink they may not be there. The reason why things don't go as you had planned is because your not the one planning your life, God is. He has better plans for you than you made for yourself that is why they change. Im thankful that we have a heavenly Father who will love us more than anyone else will.
I encourage anyone who reads this to watch we bought a zoo, its a very inspiring movie.

Lake Tahoe, California

I love this picture. I traveled here two years ago and it really made me realized that life should be cherished not taken for granted. You only live once.

My take on LIFE

Ive been on this crazy earth for about seventeen years. Seventeen years is how long it took me to actually take this thing called life seriously. Growing up has been hard, lately im finishing my last few years of highschool, taking the ACT and SAT, looking at college applications and places to stay, figuring out what major i would like to study for the rest of my life, looking at scholarship opportunities, and lets not forget learning how to drive. Both my parents are always working so im really learning how to raise myself. Ive got to say i do have more freedom and its pretty nice to be able to just go to starbucks and relax with a friend or two. Recently i learned its better to love and to have lost than to never have loved at all. Theres reason why people go in and out of your life. Trusting in GOD rather than holding it all in has been one of the best decisions of my life. I know everything will work out, even though it might feel like the world is crashing down all around me. I'm excited for the next few months with thanksgiving and the holidays coming up. The family comes together, all the leaves on the trees are changing colors, and an aroma of burning firewood is filling the air. Life can be anything you make of it, so why not make it worth living?