So I'll start off by saying worship is my favorite thing ever to do. It's the number one way that I am able to connect with the Lord. Whether I've heard the song a million times or its the first time, it hits me hard every time.
I've always loved to sing, this just comes easy to me. What doesn't is playing the guitar that I've had for four years. Every time that I pick it up and attempt to play it, the enemy steals the desire from me. He fills my head with lies saying that I'll never be good enough and that I should stop playing because people will judge me by my lack of skill. I attempted many times to push through it when my family wasn't home and no one else could hear how bad I was. I let Satan cripple me in fear once again. I let Him rob me of my joy to play music and the ability to bring Glory to God through it.
This past week I felt like the Lord was saying "Daughter, my dear, play for me, I will show you how to play just trust me. If you play for me and do it to Glorify me, you'll never be put to shame."
So I picked up my guitar and I said "Lord, I'm gona play this for you, only you can teach me because obviously this isn't something you just pick up and know. Teach me to play, I'm not going to believe these lies that are crippling me anymore."
Last night I was going through some blogs and I found a friend of mines and strangely enough (not strange because Gods intentional) I found a posting from Tuesday, January 5th, 2010. Mind you this was at 1:30 am.. but anyway. This posting was like I had been writing my own thoughts and feelings down about my struggle to overcome the fear of failure in playing guitar. She had struggled with the same thing and I had absolutely no idea. One of the last times I saw her I was at worship night where she was playing the keyboard! It was encouraging to read and know that I'm not alone in this situation and that with God I can overcome the fear and soar with it. (I guess I should let her know incase she reads this first haha.. oh well)
I feel like the Lord is saying "You of little faith, why don't you trust me?" The possibilities of the Lord are endless. Every time I ask, He gives. He is a faithful and loving God and I know that He WILL give me the ability to play and to praise Him with this very guitar.
Praise Him for being so FAITHFUL and so GENTLE. I give him an inch and he gives me a mile. His love never stops, never quits, there is NO boundaries. He will instruct me and teach me, all I have to do is trust and have confidence in Him.
Pslam 108:1 says " My heart, O God, is steadfast; I will sing and make music with all my soul."
